A Sky Full Of Stars
by april060917
Summary: Prequel to 'Castles in the Sand', sort of. Post chapter three, pre chapter four. Lilly and Scotty, of course, and the return of Alexia. Filling in a few of the gaps left by Castles in the Sand. The development of Lilly, Scotty, and Alexia, post season finale. T rating, just in case, but probably not accurate
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I'm back! Yay! I know it took forever, but good things come to those who wait, right. I have to say I was surprised by the response to 'Castles in the Sand', both my own and readers' response and wonderful reviews. It started out as a one shot, turned into a few chapters, and then into a thirty something chapters. Ending 'Castles in the Sand' was both horrible and wonderful. Wonderful because I found, what I felt, was the perfect ending. Horrible because I knew I would miss Lilly, Scotty, and Alexia so much, so I decided to begin a 'Castles in the Sand' series, filling in some of the gaps from 'Castles in the Sand'. So here it is. Takes place right after chapter three of 'Castles in the Sand', pre chapter four. Also, this is the link to 'Castles in the Sand' s/6401039/1/Castles-in-the-Sand Read review and enjoy :)

Standard disclaimer always applies… I own nothing aside from Alexia and my ideas.

**ONE**

Five more minutes... No, ten... Fifteen? One more hour. Even better. She couldn't remember the last time she'd a full seven, even five… No she couldn't remember the last time she had more than an hour of uninterrupted sleep... A day or even a couple days without sleep, she could handle. It was practically part of the job. Getting called in at odd hours of the night and early morning for a case, stake outs... It was normal. Part of the job. What wasn't normal was the amount of time Alexia spent crying relentlessly. Such a tiny infant couldn't possibly produce this many tears. A tiny infant couldn't possibly live without sleep. It had been four days and somehow, aside from her long midday naps, Alexia hadn't slept more than a few minutes each night. She rationalized that Alexia caught up on her sleep during her midday naps though unfortunately she was not as fortunate. Try as she might, she simply could not sleep during the day. Her only hope was that at some point her body would be so overcome with exhaustion, her resistance would fail and she would finally be able to succumb to sleep. Though a slight part of her, a sliver, nearly invisible slice, found herself slightly annoyed at Alexia's continuous nighttime cries, a larger part of her was struggling not to be overcome with worry and anxiety that something might be wrong with Alexia. Fighting an internal battle with her worries and an external battle with Alexia, doing anything she could think of to soothe her, all to no avail. Just as she caved to her worries and began to search for her car keys in order to take Alexia to the nearest ER, the front doorknob jostled and the door opened. She was surprised, to say the least, to see no one other than Scotty walk in though her front door his arms loaded with overflowing bags. He unloaded the bags by the table next to her front door before promptly closing the door behind him.

"Hey", he says rather nonchalantly as he carries a couple of bags into the kitchen.

"Scotty? What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood. Just thought I'd come by to see your making out."

"The thought of calling first perhaps, never occurred to you." She remarks as she begins to bounce Alexia slightly in an effort to quiet her down. Fortunately Scotty has provided enough of a distraction and sparked an interest in Alexia that her cries have diminished slightly. Lilly breathed a quiet sigh of relief.

"Called at least a dozen times over the past three days. And I did knock but I guess you could hear me over the crying."

Alexia's cries quiet a bit more as she takes in the slight of Scotty walking towards them. She eyes him warily as if deciding whether or not she should trust him.

"Whatever you're doing, keep doing it. She's quieting down." Lilly murmurs as she slowly begins to decrease her bouncing and pacing.

"I take it by the sight of the two of you; this little miss has not exactly been cooperative."

"Understatement of the year. And what do you mean by the sight of the two of you? Hidden insult much, Valens?"

"I'm just saying you guys look exhausted, you a bit more than her."

"You've got that right. She absolutely refuses to sleep at night. She cries or fusses most of the night and early morning hours. I've tried everything I can think of. She dozes off for about an hour or so around six am, but by the time I manage to close my eyes she's wide awake again. I don't know what to do. Nothing seems to work. I don't' know if it's something I'm doing or not doing… I don't know what I'm doing. What if she's sick?" She says a bit panicked and exasperated, her vibrant eyes wide with worry and fear.

"Shhh... Let me." Scotty says reaching, gently taking Alexia from her arms. Alexia's cries cease for a moment as she settles into Scotty's arms. She is silent as she peers at him curiously for a moment before beginning to whimper, on the verge of tears once again.

"Hey there," Scotty mummers to her softly. "Que paso, princessa? Porque lloras? No quieres dormer?" _(translation: What's wrong, princess? Why are you crying? Don't' you want to sleep?)_

Alexia's whimpering quiets a fraction of a bit as she studied him closely. He paces around the room murmuring to her quietly in a mix of English and Spanish. After a few minutes, her whimpering dies down and she lets out a reluctant yawn, rubbing a tiny fist across her face. Her eyelids begin to drop soon afterwards yet she fights sleep with every ounce of her tiny being, blink continuously. Before long, sleep wins the battle and her eyelids close slowly. She lets out a breath of relief as her eyes meet Scotty's. He continues to pace around the room for a few minutes to assure that Alexia was fast asleep before slowly walking over to the bassinet and lowering her into slowly. As he covers a sleeping Alexia with a thin blanket she asks, "How on earth did you do that?"

"I'm not entirely sure. I've had plenty of practice though. Nieces, nephews, younger cousins. Ma's family or friends or someone from my Dad's side of the family. There was almost always a baby in our house when I was growing up."

"I would've called you sooner if I had known you were the baby whisperer."

"Which pegs the question... Why didn't you call? I mean, I know you probably thought I wouldn't be much help, but I figured you'd at least call Kat."

"I don't know. I guess I just needed some time…" She sighs before saying, "Never mind." Her gaze flits to the various bags scattered by the front door and kitchen. "What's all this?" She asks walking over to the front door, towards the bags.

"Just some stuff I picked up at the store. I figured you'd need a few things."

"A few... Did you leave anything at the store?" She remarks teasingly as she reaches for a bag.

"It's not that much. You should've seen the size of the store. Two floors and I barely got through a handful of aisles."

Leaning the bag on top of the kitchen counter, she begins to rifle through the contents of the bag, pulling things out one by one. A purple stuffed bunny, a flannel pink blanket, a butterfly mobile, and a handful of toys. The next bag has two packs of diapers and a large pack of baby wipes. Looking over at him, she realizes he's emptied several bags on top of the counter. Several cans of formula, a couple jars of baby food, baby powder, several onesies, a handful of hair accessories, small burping cloths, a couple packs of washcloths, baby bottles, a handful of pacifiers... She looks over at him to realize he's not done yet. He's emptying out the contents of yet another bag, this one filled with groceries, which he begins to put away. Half a gallon of soy milk, a box of her favorite cereal, a handful of various fruits and vegetables, a couple of frozen meals. As he closes the refrigerator and begins to fold the paper grocery bags, he notices the glimmer in her eyes. Tears.

"Hey what's wrong?" He says worriedly, fighting the urge to rush over to her. She struggles to fight the tears away. Placing the bags on the counter, he makes his way towards her.

"Nothing. Nothing, it's stupid." She says hurriedly as he reaches her side, somehow managing to successfully blink back the flood of tears that threatened her eyes less than a minute ago. She gives him a small smile as she takes a quick swipe at her eyes with the side of her hand, wiping away the trace of any remaining tears. "I'm just tired, that's all."

He gives her a long contemplative look, as if he doesn't quite believe her yet, fortunately, doesn't push the issue.

"Thank you Scotty. I... We really appreciate it." She says softly as he lingers by her side. After a moment he reaches for her hand, gently entwining his fingers with hers, caressing her hand softly. His eyes search her face as she looks away. "Hey...," he says, as his other hand caresses the edge of her face. "We never did talk about the other night."

"There's nothing to talk about," she says, abruptly breaking free from his touch. Taking a few steps away she busies herself by beginning to empty the two remaining bags on top of the counter.

He walks over to her, noticing that she tenses up a bit at his proximity. He grips her arm gently as he says, "Hey…"

"You don't have to say anything Scotty. It happened. It was a one-time thing. It'll never happen again." She says as nonchalantly as possible, which isn't very convincing, since she can hear her own voice waver unsteadily.

"Is that what you think? It was a one-time thing?"

"Wasn't it?" She remarks accidentally looking over and meeting his gaze. Their eyes meet and she cannot make herself look away once she's caught in the trance of his warm reassuring eyes. She can feel her heart pounding as the dark pools of his eyes seemingly penetrate her soul. She longs to look away because she feels like she can't breathe yet at the same time, oddly enough, she feel completely calm.

"Lilly..." He says pausing as he runs his hand through his hair. She's noticed it's his tell, he runs his hand through his hair when he's frustrated or anxious. "The other night was... Amazing to say the least. Lil, I've dreamt … Of so many things but… the other night was better than anything I could have ever dreamt of, better than anything I could have imagined. You are better than anyone I could have imagined, certainly better than what I deserve. And what I really want to say to you, I can't because I don't want to rush into anything and it's too soon but I think you know what I want to say and I want you to know that this is not just a random emotion. I don't remember how or when it started, this way I feel about you. What I can say is that I want to give this... I want to give us a shot. What happens next is completely up to you but right now..." He says his voice drifting as he pauses to take a slightly unsteady breath," Right now I'm going to kiss you," he says as his hands tenderly caress her face before his lips softly overtake hers. His hands rest on her waist as she finds herself gripping the lapel of his suit as she kisses him back fiercely. Ever since that night, her lips have not stopped tingling and right now, kissing him back, she realizes, his kiss is far better than she remembers. Everything comes back in sudden flashes.

_His jacket falls to the floor, followed by his dress shirt and her blouse. _

_Their remaining clothing, discarded over the floor carelessly._

_Hands roaming_

_Skin to skin_

_Burning_

_Too fast_

_Not fast enough _

_Too close_

_Not close enough_

His hands stroke her waist. She feels like she's burning. She is on fire and his hands are water, unbelievable relief. Suddenly reality breaks through and she pulls away abruptly. His eyes meet hers, her own desire reflected in his eyes. She wants nothing more than to be back in his arms, kissing him again. Yet at the same time she wants to run far, away as fast as she can and not look back. Before she can stop herself she finds herself saying "You should go."

"Lilly..."

"Scotty I'm giving you an out. Take it and run. This isn't what you want." She says quickly pulling her eyes away from the intensity of his.

His eyes smolder as he says, "Look me straight in the eyes and tell me you don't want me as much as I want you. Tell me that a few seconds ago you weren't kissing me back. Tell me that the other night in the motel meant absolutely nothing. Tell me you didn't feel anything at all, not even the slightest hint. Look me in the eyes and tell me that and... I'll walk away."

She lifts her gaze, fully prepared to meet his dare, to lie to him, but as her eyes meet his, the words disappear from her mouth. Before she knows it, her lips are on his again. She's not sure who kissed who first, but it seems like she kisses him. She doesn't really care. She loses track of the time. She doesn't know how long she and Scotty stand there, in the middle of the foyer, making out like a couple of teenagers but she knows she doesn't ever want to stop. Sometime later, when they finally come up for air, he gives her one more long lingering kiss before he says, "Let's go to bed."

"Presumptuous much, are we?" She says teasingly, trying to, unsuccessfully; contain the smile spreading across her face.

"I mean, you, we should go to sleep. It's late. As much as I would love to stay here…"He says stroking the side of her face, "We have to work tomorrow and it would look suspicious if we both showed up to work tomorrow, smiling and sleep deprived."

"I know. You're right." She says doing her best to act normal, yet she cannot stop smiling. She reaches for a nearby pillow which she sets on one end of the nearby couch.

"I can make my own bed Lil. You should go get some rest."

"What are you taking about? I'm sleeping on the couch to be near Alexia and you're going home."

"I'm sleeping on the couch to keep an eye on Alexia so you can have an uninterrupted night's sleep in your own bed."

"I..."

"There's no use arguing. I'm staying either way. Either we're both sleeping uncomfortably in the living room or I'm staying on the couch and you're going upstairs to your own bed, which, frankly, seems to make more sense to me."

She sighs brushing a lock of hair behind her ear, knowing that arguing is really no use. When Scotty gets something in his mind, nothing and no one will stop him or change his mind. All of a sudden she feels completely exhausted, as if the past week's events have finally begun to catch up with her. This time she's the one who initiates the kiss, which she intends to be a quick goodnight kiss, which if course turns out to be more than she intended. Part of her is determined to fight her exhaustion so she can stay here kissing Scotty all night. But a greater part of her is more overcome with exhaustion by the second. Finally she pulls away ever so slightly, for fear of falling asleep right there in his arms.

"I'll be upstairs if you need anything," she says softly just as she steps away and begins to head upstairs.

He smiles as he says, "On the other hand, your bed would probably be more comfortable than the couch."

"Nice try, Valens. Goodnight"

"Night Lil," he says as he watches her walk up the stairs before he sinks onto the couch trying to calm the intense pounding in his chest. She hasn't said 'no. But she also hasn't said "yes' yet. But she kissed him. There is hope. There is still hope. He lies down on the couch. The pillow smells like her hair. His dreams are filled with sweet nothings.

**3 3 3 Reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **A huge thanks to everyone who has reviewed and followed this story. Love you all Standard disclaimer always applies. Read, review, and enjoy!

**Chapter Two**

Bright rays of sunlight penetrate the partially uncovered windows of her bedroom, waking her from the best night's sleep she's had, perhaps in years. Though she is fully awake, she hesitates to open her eyes because the act of opening her eyes would acknowledge the fact that she is, in fact, fully awake. And there is no hurry to end her current state, given the fact that it is Saturday. It's such a rarity, that moment between being awake and being asleep when everything is possible, when everything, even for a second, is perfect. When problems and life's messy complications do not exist. When she can believe, even if just for a minute that everything okay. The smell of coffee brewing, the precious sounds of a baby's happy laughter pierce her half dream state. And just like that her dream is over. Sitting up suddenly in bed, she remembers. The baby. Alexia. Where is Alexia? Cristina? Nearly jumping out of bed, she hurriedly throws on her bathrobe before rushing downstairs. But with every step she takes, small bits and flashes of last night's event begin to come back and slow her pace. Christina is in rehab. She was trying to get Alexia to sleep last night but she wouldn't stop crying. Scotty... Scotty came over with groceries and bags. He put Alexia to sleep. He stayed the night on the couch. Her couch.Her He kissed her. Or she kissed him. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that she can feel her cheeks heating up with ever second as she begins remember more and more. She gathers her hair into a messy bun as she walks into the kitchen, completely unprepared to meet the sight before her eyes. Scotty is sitting at kitchen table, with a very delighted Alexia sitting on his knee, picking at a pile of Cheerios on the table as he takes a sip of coffee from his mug. She is completely unprepared for the warm endearing feeling that she gets, seeing the sight of the two of them. Their eyes meet for a spilt second before she hurriedly breaks eye contact as she heads straight for the coffee pot, trying hard not to think about everything that happened last night, as great of a memory as it was.

"Morning," He says as Alexia drops a Cheerios and watches it fall and roll on the floor. "How'd you sleep?"

"Best sleep I've had in days," she says as she walks over to Alexia, who greets her with a gummy smile. "Where did this come from?" She asks noticing the baby pink highchair, set up next to Scotty.

"Oh... Well there were a few more things in the car that I didn't get a chance to unload last night. The high chair was among them." Scotty says as he catches a bit of cereal that Alexia attempts to fling.

"Anything else I should know about?" She asks as she drains the last drop of coffee from her mug. Walking over to the sink, she places the empty mug inside, filling it with a little tap water as he says, "Well… There's a play mat, a mobile, a convertible crib, two strollers and a car seat. In the living room."

Her eyebrows furrow as she makes her way to the living room. Sure enough, the sight before her eyes confirms his every word. Several large boxes have overtaken her living room, some opened, other still sealed. She turns around to find Scotty standing beside her, holding an extremely wriggling Alexia in his arms.

"Scotty ... I can't accept all of this. It must have cost a fortune."

"Well you can't turn it down because I lost the receipt." He says with his traditional cat-that-caught-the-canary smile. Her eyes narrow as she asks, "You lost the receipt? Didn't you just buy all of these things yesterday?"

"Yep. It happens. No receipt no returns. Stores' policy."

She eyes him suspiciously as she reaches to takes Alexia from his arms. Kissing the baby on the cheek, she turns to look back at the living room before saying, "Scotty, this is too much."

"Lil let me do this. Please... For you and for her." He says, his dark eyes centering in on her as she squirms a bit underneath the intensity of his gaze.

"Scotty I... I don't know what to say." She says keeping her eyes on Alexia who continues to babble and drool happily, playing with bits of hair form the nape of her neck.

"Don't say anything." He says taking a step closer to her, enough so that his breath brushes lightly over the back of her neck. And she's never been more thankful that she has Alexia in her arms because she is the only one keeping her grounded. Alexia is the only thing preventing her from potentially making a fool of herself and kissing him. The sweet smell of Alexia, baby shampoo and powder, maintains her grounded in the present moment, in which she has a baby in her arms. For a moment she is afraid that he might kiss her but fortunately, a second later, he walks past her.

"Do you have any plans for today?" He says as he makes his way towards one of the unopened boxes in the living room.

"Not specifically. Why do you ask?"

"I thought we could take Alexia for a walk then grab some lunch. I know this nice café near the park."

The words leave her mouth before she has a chance to stop them. "That'd be great. Just give me a minute to get dressed." Instantly, she regrets accepting his offer, though she tries not to let it show on her face as he walks back towards her, taking Alexia from her arms. She disappears upstairs as quickly as possible without running up the stairs. Once in the safety of her bedroom, closing the door, she sinks onto the floor, her head buried in her hands. What on earth was she thinking accepting an offer to spend the entire day alone with him? Well alone, aside from Alexia. But she couldn't possibly keep Alexia in her arms the entire day. After a few minutes of internal debate and resisting the urge to run downstairs and tell him that she changed her mind, she gets up and heads for the shower. Once out of the shower, she faces the next obstacle as she stands in front of her closet. She doesn't have anything to wear. She goes through drawers and hangers but nothing seems to be quite right. In the back of her mind, she knows she's being absolutely ridiculous. It's a walk in the park and lunch, not the White House. After what seems like forever, she settles for a pair of dark jeans with a comfortable teal top and flat sandals. Running a wide tooth comb through her hair, she grabs a black elastic hair tie from atop her dresser in case of an emergency. With every step she takes as she makes her way downstairs, she tries to calm herself and slow her breathing. She can't understand why she's so nervous all of a sudden. The only explanation was ... That it was the same exact feeling that she had night before. No… No she couldn't. Could she? No, it wasn't possible. He was her partner for God's sake. This couldn't possibly be happening. She debated with herself back and forth until she reached the living room, no conclusion in hand yet. Alexia was dressed and ready, buckled into her new stroller. Scotty had just finished packing the diaper bag, which he tucked underneath the stroller. As he looked up at her, and their eyes meet over the stroller, he could've sworn he stopped breathing for a second. Fortunately for him, she doesn't seem to have noticed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

They walk in silence for a while, the soft sounds of the wind whistling in the trees. Neither one of them says a word as they walk, side by side, Lilly pushing the stroller, Scotty walking beside them. Unsure of what to do with his hands, he tucks them in his pockets. He observes the cracks on the sidewalk as his mind whirls in circles. It should not feel this awkward and nerve-racking, doing such a simple thing such as taking a walk. But this wasn't just any walk, with any random person. This was Lilly. Lilly Rush, his partner and best friend. But ever since that night, she wasn't just Lilly. She wasn't just the person that sat at the desk across from him every day for the past seven years. She was Lilly. The woman he hadn't been able to stop thinking about for days, for weeks, since that night at the beach. She was the one who had been invading his dreams, his thoughts, every moment of his life, whether awake or asleep. She was everywhere, everything. He found that he couldn't function a single minute without thinking of her. Her smile. The softness of her silky pale skin. The way her bright azure eyes sparkled when she caught a lead on a case. The way her hair fell onto her face on the rare precious occasions when she had her hair down. Her sarcastic wit, the marvelous sound of her laughter. It was ridiculous, his behavior, and he knew it. He was behaving like an adolescent boy, the object of his obsession, the gorgeous head cheerleader. Expect in this case, she was gorgeous lead detective of the Cold Case division. He was so swept up in his thoughts he didn't hear her calling his name, until she waved her hand in front of his face.

"You okay there Valens?" She asks her eyes studying him a bit worriedly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." He pauses briefly before asking, "How are you doing?"

She sighs as she says, "Hanging in there." She pauses, peering down into the stroller to realize that the reason Alexia is so quiet is because she has fallen asleep. She slows down her pace as she says, "She's a really good baby, aside from the whole sleeping-at-night strike thing."

He smiles as he says, "My Ma used to say that kids are like drops of rain on a windowpane. No two are exactly alike. The first few months are pure trial-and-error, figuring out what does and doesn't work."

"I guess... It's just that... I feel like I'm role playing a parent instead of actually being one. Which is funny because I'm not a parent. I'm just a guardian. I guess maybe it's different when there's a maternal connection... I don't know…. I don't think I know what I'm doing."

They walk a couple of steps in silence because to be perfectly honest, he doesn't know what to say to her. Finally he says the only thing he can think of, the pure honest truth. "From my perspective, you're doing a hell of a job, for someone who doesn't know what they're doing."

She doesn't respond but he can see her face flame up, a bright shade of crimson, out of the corner of his eye. They walk the remaining half a block to the park in a comfortable silence. As they walk into the park, she stops by a park bench in the shade. Turning the stroller to face her, so she can see Alexia, she sits on the bench. He sits beside her, a sliver of space on the bench the only thing between them. He doesn't want to risk making her uncomfortable by sitting too close to her. She seems to be deep in thought and for a moment, he doesn't say anything. But after they sit in silence for a few minutes, he cannot stop himself from asking, "Are you okay?"

"Why do you keep asking me that?" She says, his voice bringing her out of her thoughts.

"Because you don't seem to be okay. And because I care. Chris and Alexia… It's a lot to handle. It's okay if you're not okay, if you're feeling overwhelmed."

"Now you admit my sister is a handful," She responds, a bit bitterly, before she can stop herself. "I can remember a time not so long ago when you thought differently."

He takes a deep sigh as he says, "I thought we got over that."

She doesn't say a word as she draws her lips into a thin line, her gaze wandering to the kids on the playground a couple of feet ahead of them. His hand reaches for her and she meets his gaze sharply with an icy stare. She tries to mask the sheer veil of hurt in her eyes at the memory of her baby sister's and partner's brief fling. He meets her icy stare with his own determined one. As he watches her, he notices her bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. More than anything, he wants to reach over and kiss her but he stops himself, for fear of angering or upsetting her more than she already is. He doses notice that despite her icy disposition, she has not pulled her hand away from his. He considers that a small victory.

Part of her wants to pull her hand away, grabs Alexia and storms away, because she cannot help the hurt and feeling of betrayal at the memory of Scotty and Chris. And she knows that is exactly what she should do because even the slightest touch of his skin on hers feels like she's being set on fire and she cannot be mad, she cannot think when he's touching her, when she is on fire. Yet she doesn't move. She cannot seem to make herself move. And she knows that she should at least move her gaze away because if there's one thing that she's learned in the seven years that they've been partners, is that he has an uncanny ability to read people's eyes in the most astoundingly accurate way. One long contemplative look was all he needed. It worked great on suspects during interrogations, particularly the female suspects. His talent combined with, what he called his 'Latin' charm, the female suspects pretty much instantly gave up any information they knew. But at times like this, his talent was downright annoying. They sit side by side on a park bench, the contact of his skin, his hand holding hers, burning, his dark eyes focused, narrowed on hers as if she were the only person around, even as people walked by and the kids played in the park, yelling and running around.

"Lilly... You know me, perhaps better than anyone else. I've made some huge mistakes, done many things I am not proud of. Hurting you, not trusting you, perhaps one of the worst mistakes of my life. I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you will let me. I just want you to know one thing. I care about you so much. And I wish I could say what I really want to say to you but I can't. Not right now because it's too soon and I don't' even know what you think. What I can say is that I have known you for seven years. I know those years have not always been the easiest but I can honestly say that despite everything that has happened, I am so thankful that you have always been by my side. As my partner and best friend, you've always had my back, even during some of my biggest screw-ups. I know I am not always the easiest person to get along with but I'd like to think that I, that we, have both grown. At least I don't think I'm as much of a pain-in-the-ass know-it-all as I used to be."

A small, nearly invisible smile slips from her lips as her eyes light up a bit. He search her face for a glint, a slight glimmer of forgiveness but it disappears just as fast as it appeared.

"Lilly you have no idea all the things I want to say to you. And I would do anything you want me to, if only you would give this, give us a chance."

"Walk away. If you really mean what you just said, that you would do anything I asked, walk away. For both your sake and mine. You don't know what you're getting yourself into. You don't want to know. This... Us. It's already gone too far already. We don't know what we're doing here."

"I know exactly what I'm doing." He responds instantly, determination in his voice.

"We're partners, Scotty."

"That's no excuse and you know it."

"It's against the rules."

"So is homicide, yet here we are. Homicide detectives. What kind of world would it be if we all followed the rules? We'd be out of a job"

"And we will be out of a job if IAB ever finds about this. And the fact that you are comparing our relationship to what we do for a living doesn't exactly reassure me."

"It's an analogy, Lil."

She doesn't respond verbally but she pulls away ever so slightly as she finally manages to look away. Finally she says. "You don't know what you're doing, Scotty."

"I do, actually."

"Well then, I don't know what I'm doing. And even if I did, it's not just about me anymore. I have Alexia to think about. I cannot take her on the roller coaster of my inevitably doomed relationships."

"You're already assuming we're doomed."

The point is, there is no 'we', no 'us'. This cannot happen. I don't know how to be a mother, or a caregiver to Alexia. My life has not revolved around warm fuzzy memories of being around babies and families all the time. I'm not the kind of girl who's dreamed about her wedding or future family since childhood. I never have been and I don't know how to be. I don't know what you're hoping to get out of this relationship, but I do know that I can't do this for so many reasons."

This time he's the one who's left speechless. Three words brace the tip of his tongue and he has to all but fight them back to keep them from being vocalized. But he cannot fight the three words and the urge to kiss her at the same time, so he ends up caving to one of them.

Before she can react, his hand reaches out for her face. He caress the side of her jaw before turning her to face him. Suddenly, his lips are on hers. She finds herself suppressing the urge to moan from deep within. She was just thinking, remembering what an amazing kisser he was. He kisses her and she is more than content to kiss him back. After what feels like an eternity, their lips part for air, for few seconds. She leans her forehead against his, her eyes still closed for fear that she might fall apart if she opens her eyes, if she sees him. After a moment, with her eyes still closed, she says quietly, "You cannot just kiss me and expect the problems to just go away."

"Are you saying you don't like kissing me?" He says shifting a bit closer to her as her eyes finally open.

"You know what I mean, Scotty."

He sighs deeply as he shifts ever so slightly in order to put his arm around her shoulders. Being there, in that precise moment, in his arms felt so perfect. She finds herself leaning her head against his chest as he leans back on the bench. Flakes and chips from her wall of resistance begin to flutter and crumble to ground slowly, quietly.

"I need time." She finally says after a few minutes. The comforting sound of listening to his breathing sooths her.

"I'm not going anywhere." He murmers against her flaxen hair. She smells like a field of flowers on a spring day. He can't think of a more perfect moment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The days flew by as quickly as the seconds, minutes, hours, weeks. Before long, it'd been a month and a half, nearly two months later. Somehow, despite all odds, she had adjusted to a new routine, a new sense of normalcy. Part of her had given up any hope of having a family of her own long ago, after Ray, after Patrick. Yet here she was. Eighty percent of her townhouse was filled with baby things. Alexia was everywhere and had become her everything. Her life had taken a 180 degree turn, to say the least. She went from being a dedicated workaholic with a minimal social life to the guardian and parental figure to her seven month old niece, working semi-regular hours from nine to five. There weren't a lot of things she was afraid of, but on that short list, somewhere towards the top was being a bad mother. One of her greatest fears. Because it's not like she even had a remote idea how to be a good parent. The only parent she ever had, her mother, hadn't exactly given her an example of what a good parent, let alone a good mother was like. She was about nine when her mother developed a regular drinking habit which quickly escalated to alcoholism. That's when everything began and ended. Her father left shortly thereafter, just after her tenth birthday. And it became her responsibility to look after her alcoholic mother, who was very often barley functioning and her five year old baby sister. So she did, to the best of her ten year old ability. Somehow, she managed to get though the next eight years. Yet history seemed determined to repeat itself with Chris. She, on the other hand… Well she wouldn't refer to herself as a success story. Success meant that she overcoming demons, putting the past behind her. And it wasn't. She still fought. Every second of every day, she fought to not to fall into the patterns of her mother's life. Every decision, every day. Thus far, she'd managed to keep her head above water, so she must have been doing something right. Yet she still felt like she was constantly on the edge of a cliff. That any second, she would tip her balance in the wrong direction and tumble down into the abyss. At this point, her hopes rested in the past month and a half, nearly two months. Somehow she had managed the last month and a half with her baby niece. Of course, she hadn't done it alone. Far from it, in fact. Boss, Kat, Will, and even Nick had all been there. She couldn't even begin to imagine what she would have done without them. And then there was Scotty. She never would have imagined he would be her greatest source of relief. Her cocky, self-assured, mildly selfish partner. The last person on earth she expected. If there was one thing she learned in the past month or so, it was that Scotty was far more than meets the eye. Beneath that rugged exterior, one of his secret talents was the "baby whisper". He had a way with kids, particularly Alexia. He was her godsend, though she would never admit that to him. God knows if that slipped out, she would never hear the end of it.

Admitting that she needed him, even considering the fact that she might be slightly dependent on him, after a month and a half, was surely as weakness. A weakness that she could not afford to show. It had become a staple for her. Experience had taught her that showing weakness was like blood to a shark. It attracted the inevitable pain. And she was already too far gone. Scotty had become a fixture, a constant presence in her, in their lives. He was practically living in her townhouse. He spent nearly any minute of free time that he had with her and Alexia, aside from ducking away for the occasionally family dinner or event. Most nights, he spent with them. After a week of that routine, one day, as they were converting the guest room into Alexia's nursery, she decided to keep the guest bed against the wall, figuring he needed better accommodations, in terms of sleeping arrangements. The guest bed was far more comfortable than her couch. Alexia's crib and things took up the remaining space in the room. Somewhere along the second week, she began to wake up to the smell of breakfast, freshly made or in the process of being cooked. It turns out Scotty was an amazing cook, another one of his hidden talents. He even made fresh fruit and vegetable purees for Alexia. They fell into a familiar, day to day routine. Scotty usually got up before she did and had both a freshly made breakfast and Alexia, ready at the kitchen table. Things were going pretty smoothly until it came time to find a day care facility for Alexia. After three weeks of staying home with Alexia, she found that although she loved the baby girl with all her heart and soul, she was beginning to go stir crazy. She missed her job, the people, the adult human interaction. The only adult interaction she had on a regular basis was Scotty and that was only in the late afternoons and evenings. So she began to look for a day care. There were plenty of facilities. Her problem was that she developed the need to dig into the backgrounds and records of these facilities as well as their employee files. She had connections, access, and she wanted nothing but the best for Alexia. After eliminating nearly every facility, she finally came across a suitable one. Little Hands, only a block away from her house.

Most afternoons Scotty showed up on her doorstep shortly after work with takeout or groceries, on occasion, both. In the back of her mind, she knew they were crossing so many lines, so many boundaries. A part of her downplayed the situation; they were just friends, nothing more. Though in the back of her mind, she knew better. Ever since that conversation in the park, he'd been true to his word, for the most part. He hadn't crossed any lines, though he seemed to dangle on the edge of the boundaries, getting dangerously close on several occasions. Each time she somehow managed to prevent herself from caving. Because she knew that once she did, there was no going back. Whenever she felt herself getting a bit carried away, she sought Alexia. Nothing could possible happen while she was holding a seven month old baby in her arms. Alexia was her security, her safe zone. Because some nights, the late nights on the couch, watching TV after a glass of wine, after Alexia was asleep, there were moments. Sitting on her back doorstep, moments when she could swear his eyes twinkled. Those eyes that knew her so well, that read right into her and slowly destroying her defenses. She could swear the scent of his cologne, mixed with the comforting scent of him, tantalized her. And when he shifted towards her, sometimes she could swear she stopped breathing, even if for a second. But that was as far as it went. This was usually when her better sense kicked in and she quickly feigned a yawn or something, anything to get away. Because that was the last thing she needed. To get involved romantically with a coworker, her partner and best friend was most certainly a mistake. It couldn't be anything more than a mistake. So she kept her distance as much as possible any second they spent together.

So one afternoon, when a certain thought occurred to her, she should have brushed it off immediately. Yet she indulged it for a moment and before long, she found herself at the hardware store. Five minutes later she walked out with a tiny brown paper bag. After picking up Alexia, she went home and waited.

He parked the car, taking the keys out the ignition, pausing for a minute to pull his phone out of his pocket. Two new text messages. Weather alerts. Getting out of the car, he locks the doors. Just as he slips his phone back in his pocket, he noticed Lilly simultaneously trying to pull a stroller, with a sleeping Alexia, up the five stairs to the front door of her townhouse while holding a bag of Chinese takeout. Closing the car door, he rushes over to them, grabbing the stroller handle just as she losses her grip. She nearly dropped the takeout, trying to catch the stroller just as he grips the stroller handle. A look of relief spread across her face when she turns and notices he caught the stroller.

"Hey," she says, turning around as she pulls her keys out of her pocket.

"Hey. Looks like I got here just in time," he remarks, slowly pushing the stroller inside the house after she opens the door.

"I thought you were working late."

He shrugs as he says, "We decided to call it a night. We were running in circles anyways. Start over tomorrow with fresh eyes."

She places the bag of takeout on the kitchen counter as he returns to the front hallway, closing the door.

"I went to pick her up at daycare. Apparently a certain someone refused to take her nap today, so if we're lucky, she sleep through the night."

"If we're lucky," he says waking back over to the stroller, bushing a blond curl out of Alexia's peaceful sleeping face. "She does look worn out," he remarks as he unbuckles her from the stroller, before gently lifting the sleeping baby into his arms. "I'll be right back. I going to put her to bed" he whispers before heading upstairs.

She closes the stroller and stores it in the closet next to the front door before returning to the kitchen. Returning to the kitchen, she begins pulling out the various cartons of Chinese takeout, placing them on the counter. She pauses for a second, making sure to set the tiny brown paper bag in front of Scotty's food. She hears his footsteps on the stairs and for some reason, all of a sudden she feels very nervous. Throwing the carryout bag away, she heads to the sink for a cold glass of water.

"I got takeout for dinner," she says as he walks into the kitchen.

"I noticed. I could've saved you the trouble and stopped by to pick up the food on my way here."

"You're always buying and doing things. I figured it was about time I returned the favor," she says sitting down.

"Well I..." he begins to say, as he sits down, when suddenly he notices the brown bag in front of him.

"What's this?"

"Just a little something I picked up today. I figured it was about time," she says as he opens the bag, shaking it upside down. A single silver key falls out, making a small "cling" noise as it lands on the counter

"I figured since your practically living here you might as well have your own key…. I mean it make sense," she says hurriedly, her face tingling a bit as she avoids his gaze. Taking a breath, she takes a bite of her food, shifting uncomfortably. Reaching over, he gently takes the fork from her hand, laying it on the counter. He holds her hand as he says quietly, "Hey."

As if by reflex, she looks up, directly into his piercing dark eyes. "I know this wasn't easy for you. But… it means a lot to me."

Suddenly, the air in the kitchen feels thick, humid, heavy. Her eyes flicker nervously, skin prickles, lips tingle as a certain anticipation swirls in the air, in the space between them surrounding them. She can't move, can't breathe. He's mere millimeters from her when a sharp cry emits from the baby monitor on the kitchen counter. Sighing, she gets up. "I'll get her," she says as she walks away.

As she makes her way upstairs, Alexa's ever increasing cries seem to awaken her common sense. Oh my God…. She couldn't have…. She almost kissed Scotty. Or he almost kissed her. They almost kissed. She walked into the nursery, scooping a loud and fussy Alexia up into her arms. After changing Alexia into a fresh diaper, she nuzzles a pacifier into Alexia's mouth before softly pacing around the room with her, trying to settle her back to sleep. With every step she took, she thought, reflected on what just happened or almost just happened. She was so deep in thought, too busily engrossed in her own mind, in her own thoughts; she doesn't even notice Scotty standing in the doorway of the nursery. Once she's certain Alexia is asleep, she slowly lowers her into the crib, pausing to give her a soft kiss on the cheek before covering her with a thin blanket. She gasps when she sees a dark figure in the doorway, but before her cop instincts kick in, he steps out from the shadows and she realizes it's Scotty. She takes a breath of relief before whispering, as she walks towards him, "You scarred me to death."

"Sorry. You were gone for a while. I just wanted to make sure you were okay," he says, following her out of the room. They walk downstairs, but instead of returning to the kitchen, she sinks onto the couch in the den. Leaning her head back against the couch, she closes her eyes and takes a long deep breath.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," she says without moving. He watches her for a second before asking, "You're not going to finish eating?"

"Not hungry," she responds curtly.

She hears his footsteps as he walks away, towards the kitchen. As she listens to the water running in the sink, she feels guilty for snapping at him. It's not his fault she's scarred to death, scarred to let anyone in, to allow herself to feel something besides friendship for someone. It seems like she sits alone in the den for hours, in the dark, though she knows it's probably only been a few minutes, at most. She feels the couch cushion beside her sink a bit as he sits beside her. He doesn't say anything for a minute and she doesn't open her eyes. Finally he says, "Did I do something?"

She opens her eyes, sitting up a bit as she says, "What?"

"You've been acting strange. I was just wondering if it's because I did something."

"No. No it's not you."

"Then what? It has to be something." He pauses for a minute waiting for her to answer, for some kind of response but when she doesn't say anything he asks "Is this about the key? You can take it back, if you want." He tries to make his voice sound neutral, but it comes out sounding a bit bitter. She doesn't respond, just stares at the space in front of her. He watches her, her beautiful face clouded with emotions, with conflict and turmoil. He hates to see her like this. But he knows that if he tries to talk to her, she'll shut down. For a minute as he sits there, watching her, he doesn't know what to do. He wants to help, but he doesn't know what to do. After a few minutes of pondering, he knows exactly what to do. Slowly he inches his hand towards hers until their fingers are barley touching. He runs his thumb over her fingers, slowly, his fingers over her, caressing the top of her hand. He's relieved when she doesn't pull away, though he feels her tense up a bit. After a minute, her breathing slows a bit, as the tension slowly fades. His hand settles with her, his fingers entwined with hers. After a while, she leans her head against him and he shifts to accommodate her, reaching his arm around her. As she sinks into him, he pulls her just a bit closer. Her silky flaxen hair falls over his shoulder brushing against his skin. She smells like heaven, something floral. He never would have imagined Lilly being the floral perfume type, but then again he never imagined them here, like this. He never imagined the one he was looking for, was sitting across from his desk at work for the past seven years. He never imagined falling in love with her sweet seven month old niece. In the process of falling in love with this sweet baby, he never imagined he'd end up falling harder for her guardian and his best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's note: _I know it's been awhile but what can I say? Life happens, I'm a perfectionist, and I am the queen of procrastination… Six classes this semester? Yeah, clearly I was not in my right mind when I registered for fall classes and I am now suffering the consequences. :/ Bear with me, I promise that the wait is well worth it. Love reading all your reviews and seeing new followers and/or favorites to the story. Keep it up! I live for reviews, even if it's just a smile face or a thumbs up! With that in mind, read, review, and enjoy

**Chapter Five**

Somehow, at work, they both managed to maintain their decorum, as if nothing had happened, nothing had changed. As if he did not come to her house nearly every night. As if she didn't find herself wanting, needing his companionship. As if it was just companionship between them, when they both knew better. As if, his touch, the sound of his voice didn't send her wonderful chills throughout her body. She… They had come dangerously close… too close to crossing a forbidden boundary. Now more than ever she need to maintain a safe distance. It might have been easier if she stopped this, whatever this was, before it even started but it was too late for that. All she could do was maintain at least an arm's length of distance away from him, and try to contain the impending.

Weeks later, she is awakened by a sudden, loud clasp of thunder. Some rumbling followed by lightening and a couple more booms of thunder, there is a cry from the nursery. Lilly sighs, suppressing a groan as she rolls over in bed, yawing, thinking, in the back of her mind, Scotty will get her. And then she remembers.

He's not home. He's out on a stakeout with Nick.

Abandoning the comforts of her warm bed, she heads for the nursery. Alexia's cries are relentless even as Lilly picks her up, rubbing her back gently. She does all the usual checks; diaper, bottle, body temperature. Everything seems to be fine, aside from the fact that she won't stop crying. Walking over to the dresser, picking up Alexia's favorite pacifier, she gently nuzzle it into Alexia's mouth only to have her spit it out promptly as her cries grow a bit louder. She settles for pacing around the room, in the vain hope that Alexia will eventually tire herself out and fall asleep.

After what seems like hours later, she heads downstairs as Alexia's cries continue, hopping that maybe the change in setting will help her settle down. The storm rages on outside, thunder and lightning booming in turn. As she paces around the living room, passing by the windows, she pulls the curtains shut before turning on a dim table lamp. It's beginning to feel like the first week again. Except that during the first week, Alexia fussed, and, for the most part didn't cry as much, well at least not as much as she was crying now. She pauses, switching Alexia to her left arm because her right arm is throbbing and notices Alexia is a bit warm. Touching her hand to the baby's forehead, then neck, she realizes Alexia has a fever. The first thoughts that occur to her is the fact that she doesn't have a baby thermometer or baby ibuprofen, for that matter. As she struggles not to let panic overcome her, the front doorknob jiggles and Scotty walks in, dripping wet, closing the door behind him promptly. As he takes off his wet suit jacket, hanging it on the coat rack, his eyes meet her panicked ones.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know. Something is wrong. She's been crying for hours and she won't stop. I've tried everything and just now, when I was switching her to my other arm, I noticed she was a bit warm. I think she might have a fever and we don't have ibuprofen and…"

"I brought baby ibuprofen last week. I was at the drugstore and figured we should have some hand in case of an emergency. It's in the kitchen cabinet next to the sink," he says, unbuttoning his mildly damp dress shirt. Hanging the shirt on the coat rack, he heads for the kitchen. Returning from the kitchen, as he begins to walk towards them, Alexia's cries quiet a bit before stopping completely for a couple of seconds. She looks at him with watery eyes, a tear stained face. He takes advantage of her momentary distraction, touching her forehead with his hand before opening the bottle of ibuprofen and dropping a few droplets into her partially opened mouth. She grimaces, swallowing the medicine before commencing her cries once again as he reaches to take her from Lilly's arms.

"You don't want to change into some dry clothes first?" she asks as he settles Alexia in his arms, before beginning to pace slowly.

"I'm fine," he mummers, kissing Alexia's curls. "It was just the jacket and shirt that were wet." He pauses as Alexia's cries begin to minimize to whimpers. "Did you give her a bottle yet?"

"I tried a while ago but she didn't want anything."

He nods as he says, "Get her a bottle of cool water. Not too cold though."

Lilly disappears and returns a minute later with a baby bottle of water, which she promptly hands to him. Holding the bottle, he tries to nuzzle the tip of the bottle into Alexia's mouth. She shakes her head at first, refusing to open her mouth, though after a few minutes of persistence, she begins to drink steadily. Lilly breaths a small sigh of relief. As she finishes the bottle, her eyes begin to get drowsy and droop. Before long, he slows in his pacing as he notices Alexia drifting off to sleep. He turns to tell Lilly, only to find her nearly asleep herself, standing by the window. Walking over to her, he touches her arm with his hand. She flinches awake, startled out of sleep.

"It's okay. She fell asleep." He pauses before adding, "You should go bed. I'll take care of her."

She's clearly exhausted because she heads upstairs to her bedroom without a single protest. Scotty follows closely behind with a fully asleep Alexia in his arms.

The sound of rain pelting against the windowpane wakes her. Stifling a yawn, she rolls over to the cool side of her bed and begins to go back to sleep. Then she remembers. Alexia. Alexia had a fever, she wouldn't stop crying, she wouldn't go to sleep. She vaguely remembers Scotty coming home and finally getting her to sleep. Getting up, she heads down the hall to the nursery.

She walks into the dark room to see a shadowy figure sitting at the window seat. A drowsy Scotty softly humming to an equally drowsy Alexia. She cannot hide the smile that comes to her face, the sight of the two of them. She watches from the doorway for a minute. If only things were always this simple. Once she notices both of them starting to nod off, she walks over to them. This time she's the one who takes the baby from his arms, startling him awake.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," she whispers as she places the baby in the crib. "It's your turn to go to sleep."

"I'm fine," he protests as he gets up, rubbing his eyes. She turns around to catch him yawning.

"You're falling asleep. You have to go in early tomorrow. You need your sleep."

"Switched with Vera," he says letting out another yawn. "I'll be fine. You go back to sleep."

"I can't sleep. Not anymore. I'm worried about her."

"She's been fine since the ibuprofen. She woke up a couple of times, the usual fussing, but it's nothing out of the ordinary." He pauses before adding," If it will make you feel better, you can sleep in here. I'll keep watch by the window seat."

"I'm not kicking you out of your own bed. I'll be fine by the window seat. It's not like I'm going to get any sleep anyways."

"Or we could just share the bed. It's a full size, there's plenty of space."

She glares at him, eyeing him doubtfully as she considers his suggestion.

"I won't try anything. Promise," he says with a small smile and a barely noticeable sparkle in his eyes. She observes him, watching the sparkle for a few seconds. Against her better judgment, she agrees and lays down on the right side of the bed. Scotty pulls the comforter over her before laying down beside her. No sooner than her head hits the pillow, she begins to feel her eyelids droop. She tries to fight it but in a matter of minutes, she's fast asleep.

A loud, sudden clasp of thunder startles her out of her sleep. This time, she remembers. She's in the nursery. Alexia had a fever and she's sleeping on the guest bed to keep an eye on her. She's sleeping on the guest bed. And it's so comfortable and… warm. She shifts a bit, adjusting her pillow, trying to go back to sleep, when she notices the arm draped over the curve of her waist. He takes a breath, blowing strands her hair a bit, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. Because she should be alarmed. She should get up and walk away. She should be mad. He promised her wouldn't try anything. Even if he is asleep. But it feels so good. It can't possibly be wrong that… she likes the way his breath feels against her neck. She likes the way he's holding her and… She feels safe. Warm. Loved. And most of all, sleepy. She drifts back to sleep, listening to the sound of rain pelting against the window pane.

A rumble of thunder and a sudden bolt of lightning cause him to wake up. He groans a bit without opening his eyes, as he begins to shift around. That is until he feels a warm someone next to him. She smells of lavender and something lightly floral. He knows the person next to him is a she, because he can feel her hair, brushing against his shoulder. She smells like Lilly. He wants to open his eyes, to see Lilly lying beside him, but at the same time, he's afraid to open his eyes and see someone who is not Lilly. Part of him thinks he's imagining things and when he opens his eyes, he'll realize he's actually alone. Either way, he's sure nothing good can come of opening his eyes. If this is heaven, if he is in heaven, he doesn't want to leave. He'd be content to spend the rest of his life here. A whimper interrupts his dreams of heaven, and just like that, he opens his eyes. Looking around the room, he remembers he's in the nursery. Alexia. He looks over at the crib to see Alexia fast asleep. Which could only mean, the person beside him is Lilly. He looks over to see the heavenly sight of Lilly lying next to him. Her flaxen hair draped over part of his shoulder. His arm around her waist, he can feel her stomach rise and fall slightly with her every soft breath. It's still dark outside. He doesn't want to move, he doesn't want this to ever ends. The sight of Lilly Rush sleeping is the most captivating image he's ever seen. She doesn't have defenses or wall or boundaries or 'ice queen' glares. It's just Lilly. It's not a sight he gets to see often, so he cherishes ever opportunity he gets. After a few minutes though, he knows he needs to get up, as much as he doesn't want to. He needs a bathroom break and he should check if Alexia's fever has completely broken yet. Hesitantly, but quietly, he slips out from underneath the covers. Walking over to the crib, he places his hand against the sleeping baby's forehead. He's relieved to find that she is normal temperature once again. Alexia takes a deep breath in her sleep as he turns and heads for the bathroom. He returns to the nursery, unsure of what to do next. He would love nothing more than to slip back underneath the covers, wrap his arms around Lilly, but he's afraid that if he does, she'll wake up and it will all be over. And he doesn't want it to be over. Not yet, anyways. He need five more minutes of living in this alternate reality. He needs five more minutes to pretend. After a few minutes of watching her sleeping form, he decides to try anyways. Slowly, he slips back into bed and edges to her side. She doesn't even stir as he places his arm around her. She sighs, moving a bit closer to him. He brushes a lock of hair off her face before sinking into a blissful dream state.

The sound of birds, loudly chirping outside the window and rays of bright sunlight flooding the room and the bed awaken her from her restful sleep. Shifting a bit, she realizes there's an arm around her waist and a warm body beside her who is still asleep. Scotty. And she remembers everything very clearly. Looking around the room, her gazes immediately lands on the crib, where Alexia still sleeps peacefully, her tiny fist lying next to her check. Her complexion is her normal rosy creamy skin, and not an animated bright pink like last night when she had a fever. Lilly lets out a sigh of relief before suddenly sitting up, as if a switch had been flipped. Scotty is instantly awake and sitting up, mildly startled by her sudden movements.

"Are you okay?" He asks worriedly, still a bit groggy.

"Yeah. No. I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I'm late for work." She says swinging her legs over the side of the bed. But before she can make her escape, he says, "We have the day off. I called into work and explained. Boss gave us both the day off."

"What exactly did you say?" she asks, turning around.

Nothing incriminating. I just said that I spent the night, here with you, helping, because Alexia was sick."

"Oh." Is the only answer she can come up with.

"To be honest Lil, I don't know how to explain… Us… This… I don't even know if there is an us. I want to be able to do things like, hold your hand without being afraid that you're planning a thousand ways to get away as fast as possible. I want to be able to kiss your cheek, your forehead, your lips, the side of your neck. I want to be able to give you good morning, good night kisses. I want to kiss you for absolutely no reason at all. I want… So many things…"

As his voice trails off, suddenly, she slips her hand into his. He stops trying to come up with something to say and looks over at her. She meets his gaze with a look in her azure eyes that he's never seen before and doesn't quite know how to identify.

"I know this isn't easy. My relationships have a life span of about a couple of months, if I'm lucky. Those that do last that long are usually more physical than anything else so I'm not exactly an expert on how to do all of this. I wouldn't blame you if you were to walk away right now. If you really want to, you can. I'm giving you an out because… I don't know how to do this. Any of this. This is all new to me. But if you did, I wouldn't get the chance to do this," she says leaning over, moving towards him. As her lips overtake his and he finds himself sinking into her kisses, he thinks to himself, this can't possibly be real. He must be dreaming. But he's never had dreams that felt this real. It's like he's actually touching her, feeling… As if she's there, in front of him and he can actually smell her wonderfully intoxicating smell, an intoxication he can't possible describe. The beautiful dream is over in a matter of, what feels like, seconds, to him. Leaning her forehead against his, she takes a deep shaky breath, her deep azure eyes burning brightly, with a hint of something… Something he doesn't identify right away. It takes him a couple of seconds to realize that the hint of something in her eyes is fear. Uncertainty. Is she actually afraid that he's going to walk away? He wants to do, to say, so many things, to reassure her, but he doesn't want her to run. She's like a frightened deer caught in a pair of headlights in the middle of a dark solitary road at midnight. He's never sure what she's going to do, how she's going to react. It's something he both loves and hates. He can't come up with the words, at least not words that won't make her take off running. Though after what she just did, the last thing he ever expected her to do, he feels a bit more confident that she won't run, or at least run as fast as she can, anyways. Holding her hand tightly, feeling the pulsating of her heartbeat, he says the only thing he can think of. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."  
"Ditto," she says, a smile lighting up her face. She pauses before continuing, "I wish I could give you a definitive answer, Scotty. I really do. But… I don't want to jump in, head first, with my eyes closed. I've done that too many times and this time…. This time, I want things to be different."

He watches the hint of uncertainty in her eyes, flicker, and grow just a bit as she pulls away ever so slightly. He watches her, but doesn't let go of her hand for a second.

"Lilly," he says softly, drawing out the sound of her name. She feels chills ripple through her at the sound of his voice, the way he says her name. "Lilly… The best thing that ever happened to me happened seven years ago. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I know that sometimes I don't behave the way I should. I'm impatient and egotistical and… you can probably list my faults better than I can. The point being, I get impatient. And I do stupid things. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel pressured because you have to know that I don't mean to. I care about you so much. But I would really like it if I could hold your hand."

By the time he finishes talking, a small certain smile is spreading across the captivating features of her face. The small smile soon turns into a teasing smile as she says, "I don't know. I kind of… like doing this." She kisses him just as he lets out a deep sigh of relief.

"I'd like that," He manages to say when she stops kissing him. "I'd really like that."

"But that's it for now," she says, the smirk suddenly disappearing from her face.

"I am completely okay with that," he says as she interlaces her fingers through his. He leans in to give her a long deep kiss.

"One more thing..." she says, pulling away ever so slightly. "Absolutely nothing outside of the house. I don't know how we'd explain this to the team or Boss, much less IAB."

"As long as you promise to keep kissing me like that," he says cutting her off with a kiss, "I promise to do whatever you want."

"Promise," she says, kissing him back before he turns to kiss her neck, causing her to break out into perils of laughter. She falls back onto the bed, collapsing into giggles as he silences her with a kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's note:_ Life is crazy, is all I can say…Hugs and kisses, you guys are wonderful! I really love reading your reviews and seeing followers and favorites for this story, so keep it up Enjoy!

**Six**

The soft sounds of gurgles and babbling wake her from, what feels like, the best sleep she's had in a long time. For once, she's not so reluctant to open her eyes. For once, she's sure that when she opens her yes, she'll be met with a sight she wants to see, that it's not just a dream. It's not perfect, but it's pretty close. It's real, and it's not going anywhere, at least not anytime soon. It's an unfamiliar feeling, but it's a good feeling. She doesn't quite know how to describe it, or what to call it. A flash of a though whisks past her mind and she takes a second to consider it. Happiness. She could call it that.

Soft curls, that marvelously delicious baby smell she couldn't describe but had become strangely addicted to, and the feeling of a pair of tiny hands touching her face. Opening her eyes, she gives Alexia a soft kiss on the cheek. Waving her arms, Alexia makes a small happy noise in response. She looks over to see Scotty's mildly drowsy, but smiling eyes looking back at her. When he looks at her, she feels as if she's melting a little bit inside. Slowly, he's chipping away her inhibitions and there are moments, like this moment, she's perfectly content to let him. Alexia wriggles as she kicks her legs energetically while lying on her stomach, in the bed between them.

"Hi."

"Hi"

"I guess I fell asleep again," she remarks.

"It's okay. You didn't sleep very well last night. Figured since we have the day off, might as well catch up on some sleep," He says as Alexia sputters out a squeal of delight, gripping onto a fistful of Lilly's hair. Reaching over, he uncurls Alexia's fist, brushing Lilly's hair back off of her face, and out of Alexia' reach. His hand lingers on the side of her face for a second before pulling away. Alexia rolls over onto her back and begins to entertain herself by trying to put her foot in her mouth. Lilly smiles, watching her for a minute before she says, "You look tired."

"Well, someone," he says, pausing to blowing a raspberry on Alexia's stomach, "woke up about 20 minutes after you fell asleep again. I bought her here thinking that maybe I could get her back to sleep and put her in her crib again, but apparently she's had enough sleep. She had her bottle about an hour ago and other than being fully awake, well-rested and not letting me go back to sleep, she's been fine."

Alexia gurgles happily in agreement as Scotty places a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Ma!" Alexia exclaims loudly, her mouth curling into a smile as her eyes flicker from Scotty to Lilly's slightly shocked face.

"Did she just..." Lilly begins to say, but before she can finish, Alexia exclaims, a bit louder, "Ma! Ma. Ma, ma, ma, ma…"

"She just said Ma. She... Is she calling me Ma?" Lilly says, sitting up a bit, her gaze flickering between Scotty and Alexia, the expression on her face completely unreadable.

"Lexi, that was supposed to wait," Scotty murmurs as his kisses Alexia's soft blond curls. "That was supposed to be a birthday surprise."

She cannot stop nor explain the sudden rush of tears that spring to her eyes, flooding and falling down the side of her face.

"Ma?" Alexia questions, her wide blue eyes staring intensely, for an eight month old baby, her tiny hand touching the side of Lilly's face. Lilly quickly swipes away the tears that keep falling. Scotty's concerned gaze mimics Alexia's, only a degree more in intensity and concern, as he says, "I'm sorry, Lil. I didn't mean to upset you. She just started babbling a few weeks ago ad she said 'Da'… I figured she should learn how to say 'Ma' so…" He trails off, a bit unsure of what to do. "Lilly, please don't cry," he says reaching for her hand as she wipes away the last of the tears with her other hand. He watches her, feeling a bit confused, but relieved, as her face slowly breaks out into a small smile. She kisses Alexia's cheek until the baby becomes fussy at all the affection and tries to wriggle out of her reach. Giving Alexia one more kiss, she looks up. The baby kicks her legs in the air, resuming her game of trying to put her foot in her mouth, as Lilly's watery eyes meet his warm, still slightly concerned ones. Her smile grows a bit brighter as Scotty looks even more confused. She reaches over to kiss him before she says, "I'm sorry. I didn't… I really don't know where that came from."

"It's okay. You okay?"

"Yeah," she says with a smile as she kisses him again. "I'm better than okay."

As shades of relief brush over him, this time he leans in to kiss her. She giggles a bit as his stubble brushes over her face. As he lays back down, she says, "We should probably get up. And you should probably shave."

"I don't know," he says with a smirk. "I might keep it. I kind of like that sound you make when I kiss you with a beard," he says mischievously, leaning over to kiss her again. She laughs, kissing him back initially before wriggling teasingly underneath his kiss. He kisses her once more before pulling away slowly, as their eyes settle on the baby, who is beginning to look a bit heavy lidded. Neither one of them say a word, much less move, as they watch Alexia fight off the sleep. It's a rather short fight and in no more than ten minutes, her eyes close and soon she is fast asleep. The enchanting sounds of Alexia's soft breaths fill the space between them. After a few minutes, she turns on her side to look over at Scotty, only to find he's looking a bit heavy lidded himself. She smiles as he drowsily reaches for her hand. Minutes later, he joins Alexia in a deep sleep. She finds herself entranced by the sight of the two of them. Alexia soft breathing, the sound of Scotty mumbling something incompressible in Spanish. Part of her wishes she'd taken Spanish in high school so she'd know what he was saying. But for the most part, she doesn't really care. She's comforted by their presence, the fact that they are here. In that moment, a small part of her, a crack, entertains the thought of the notion of a happily ever after.


End file.
